Monthly Archives: September 2011

Gestation of a short story #5: First draft, first draft, first draft!

Events (in real life) intervened since I last posted an update on the progress of my short story. The result was that I wrote nothing for six days. It’s difficult to resume a writing project after a gap. You’ve lost some of the closeness that you had with your characters, your head is not in the right place any more, you are no longer “in the zone”.

Having said that, these things can all be regained.  I sat down when the house was quiet, pretending not to notice the towering piles of papers on my desk waiting to be sorted out (an essential writerly skill), and closed my eyes. (If anyone had been watching, they would have assumed I was having a little nap.) The story re-formed itself in my head, the characters came back, and I was in business again.

It’s great to be back writing; as Ray Bradbury says in Zen in the Art of Writing, “An hour’s writing is tonic”.

And now…

I have a first draft!!!

Apologies to the exclamation mark police here, but I really feel I need them at this point!!!

I have a first draft!

Can it be that the six-day gap was actually beneficial to the story in some way? Does a break in writing allow characters, plot and the other elements of the story to develop unnoticed at the back of the writer’s mind?


I am fairly happy with how the characters have developed and consolidated. The short-lived siblings are long forgotten (God rest their souls) and the dynamics of the three-person family are working well. The character profiles that I completed at the beginning have really helped with the development of the story in my head. Each character seems to be doing what comes naturally; I haven’t found myself struggling, asking myself “What should be happening now?”


The timeline has proved itself a trustworthy friend. I refer to it often for various reasons. For example, when one of the characters hums a song, I needed to check exactly when that character was born, so that I could research what songs were popular when he was growing up.

House plan

As for the house plan that I sketched at the beginning, it is looking a little well-thumbed by now. I have referred to it many times to figure out the characters’ movements around the house.

Light at the end…

For some reason that I suspect it would take a psychologist to figure out, I put off writing anything to do with the ending until the last possible moment. OK, let me hazard a guess.

In a short story, the ending is a big deal, the big kahuna. It brings everything in the story together and “wraps everything up”. By this I do not mean that the ending has to explain things or bring everything to a conclusion – far from it. A short story may end with nothing much having happened. What I do mean is that the ending puts the stamp on the story that the writer wants it to have. As Nancy Kress points out in Beginnings, Middles and Ends, the ending may be the climax of the short story (unlike in the novel, where the climax comes somewhere near the end, followed by a denouement). So writing the ending feels a bit like heart surgery: mess it up, and the whole thing is gone.

I’m also aware that in previous short stories of mine, the endings sometimes tended to drag on. A creative writing teacher of mine (I think it was either John F. Deane or Mark Roper, both outstanding writing teachers I have been lucky enough to learn from) made me aware years ago of the need to put a quick, clean end to a short story.

In the case of this story, the original anecdote on which the story is based pulled me towards one kind of ending. As I started to write the last few paragraphs, another ending began to form in my head. So I wrote two different endings. Now I just have to decide which one to use in the final version, keeping in mind the need to “get out quick”.

To do

So, I am really happy that the story is nearing completion. The final few things that I need to do are:

  • Iron out some background details about the time period in which the story is set
  • Decide on the ending and get out quick
  • Check that the imagery is consistent and balanced. In terms of the five senses, this story is mainly oriented around sight and hearing; the readers see the main character’s world through his eyes and ears.

Don’t put the kettle on…

Events intervened since I last posted on the progress of my latest short story. It has progressed –  just not enough to write anything meaningful about yet. There should be a new report early next week. In the meantime, something a little lighter for a Friday evening…

An hour ago I had never heard of a kettle bell. If asked, I probably would have hazarded a guess that it was something our ancestors might have used to alert them when the kettle had boiled – possibly a more soothing, rural version of a kettle with a whistle… No?

Sadly, not this.

No. A kettle bell is a recent phenomenon that has nothing to do with hot beverages (NOTHING, sadly) and looks like this:

Yes, this.

Bit scary eh?

You may be wondering how I discovered what a kettle bell is. There I was this evening, innocently wandering into my local gym here in Waterford, nice and relaxed and feeling very pleased with myself for being there instead of tucking into a glass of red wine on the sofa in preparation for The Late Late Show (and let’s face it, some chemical assistance is needed to sit through The Late Late Show these days).

In the gym, I noticed that instead of working the machines, the members already present were standing in a circle, stretching and bearing distinctly tense facial expressions, with the aforementioned bizarre-looking objects lying in the middle of the floor.

I had inadvertently wandered into the Kettle Bell Class and it was just about to start.

Despite the cuddly-sounding name, I had a strong feeling that the kettle bell was not about to add to my happiness levels.

What could I do? I had got changed, got myself down there, and everyone was ready to go, eyeing me balefully. I manned up, picked up a kettle bell and found myself doing my first class.

It is not for the faint-hearted (me).

The tattooed, muscle-bound instructor swung his kettle bell around like it was an empty handbag for the duration of the one-hour class. We did everything with them: lifted them above our heads, down to our legs and back up again, clasped them to our chests while rotating our torsos from side to side, and lots of other things that I have blanked from my memory (no doubt to resurface again in a disturbing dream).

And this, please.

Now, safely ensconced at home again, I have that great post-exercise buzz and incredibly, am considering – in a very measured, considered way – going again next week.

Now for that kettle – I mean glass – of wine.

Author interview: Derbhile Dromey, author of The Pink Cage

Derbhile Dromey‘s first novel, The Pink Cage, was published in June 2011 by Book Republic. Derbhile is a full-time writer with many strings to her writing bow: fiction, journalism, editing, and creative writing teaching. She is also keen to help other people achieve their writing dreams and is launching a Prepare to Publish Service, offering manuscript evaluations and lists of places to send manuscripts. Orla chatted to Derbhile  about getting published as a new writer, the pros and cons of working with a “non-traditional” publisher, and the best ways for new writers to promote themselves and their work.

OS: Derbhile, congratulations on the publication of The Pink Cage. The book is published by Book Republic, a small, new, non-traditional publisher. How did you establish contact with this publisher? Can you describe the steps leading to publication of your book?

DD: I finished the book in May of last year and immediately started sending it out. I began with Irish publishers and agents, then moved to British agents and publishers who took email submissions. I then hit a wall because most of the publishers and agents required SAEs and Irish post offices don’t supply International Reply Coupons that the publishers and agents could use as stamps. But most were happy to reply when I explained this.

I had a total of 27 rejections before I found Book Republic. I had fully expected to get at least 30. After a ‘positive rejection’ from a British agent who had taken the time to write an encouraging note with her form slip, I had a spurt of energy and went onto the site, a new resource for Irish writers, which had a list of current publishers. I had been thinking that a small, independent publisher would be a good way to go. They would bear the cost of bringing out the book and I was willing to promote it. Book Republic were listed on I submitted to them and three days later got an email to say they were interested.

OS: There can be a negative perception around the financial rewards for writers, especially new writers, who work with the more established print publishers. Book Republic describes itself as a “boutique publishing press” that “was set up to combat the traditional model of publishing”. How have you as a writer found working with this kind of publisher? Do you think the financial rewards for the writer can be greater with a non-traditional publisher like Book Republic?

DD: The advantage of going with a publisher like Book Republic is that you get to keep more of your money. Royalties are better than with traditional publishers. And you get more autonomy over your book. You can decide on your cover and you get a strong say in the editing process. They also distribute books on a Print on Demand basis, which means that a book is only printed when someone orders it. This means no returns and less likelihood of ending up on the bargain pile. They also automatically produce an ebook version of the book at the same time, which gives me a chance to avail of the growing ebook market.

But the disadvantage of that is that it’s proved impossible to get it into the bookshops. People can order it in bookshops, but most bookshops won’t stock it because they use the more traditional distribution channels. And despite all the talk about high figures for buying over the Internet, a lot of people still expect to stroll into a bookshop and pick up a book. So this has meant that the book isn’t as visible as I’d like.

OS: The Pink Cage was released in print and electronic format simultaneously. How do you feel about having a published e-book? Is it something you would encourage other authors to do? Do you think having a book out in electronic format as well as print is a positive thing in terms of sales?

DD: I was interested in Book Republic because I felt that they would help me tap into the growing trend for people to buy ebooks. I think Book Republic are ahead of the curve. They publicise and sell largely over the Internet, but a lot of people still live in the world of paper books, including myself. I’m looking forward to seeing how the ebook phenomenon develops over the next few years and hope that I’ll benefit from it.

OS: You marked the release of The Pink Cage with book signings and launches. Can you tell us a little about the “real-world” publicity side of a new book: How important are launches and signings for new authors? Did you organise the events yourself? How much of that kind of in-person publicity do you think a newly-published writer needs to do? Do launches and signings have a noticeable effect on book sales, or is their effect more general in terms of profile raising?

DD: The launch and signings were hugely beneficial. Book Republic do a small print run of 250 copies to mark a launch. They decided to print mine in hardback and all the copies were sold out at the launch and two signings. It’s hugely beneficial to do real-world publicity. And traditional media proved to be extremely effective in publicising the launch in particular. Book Republic organised the launch and I organised the signings. So in all, I would say they’re extremely important. The Internet is great, but it’s too easy for your book to get lost in cyberspace. Nothing beats that real-world connection with readers.

OS: You are active in the online and social networking worlds. Social networking can be hugely useful for creating a buzz around a newly-published work. How have you leveraged social networking for the publicity around The Pink Cage?

DD: Twitter has helped me to find people to blog about the book and Facebook has helped me to communicate with potential customers. I have a page for the book on Facebook, and a profile on Twitter @ThePinkCage.

OS:You also have your own blog and you do guest blogging on other sites. In your experience, how can blogging be used to publicise a published work?

DD: Blogging is more about giving useful information and creating a profile for yourself as an expert. It’s a complement to other social media activities.

In the end, you need to adopt a multi-pronged marketing approach, with traditional media, social media and word of mouth working in combination.

OS: In your experience, is there a specific period of time post-publication after which publicity efforts are no longer effective in terms of sales of that particular book – e.g. six months, a year?

DD: I’ll know more after Christmas!

OS: I know that you are also an active networker in the offline world. How important is real-world networking for writers? Do you have any recommendations for fledgling writers in terms of what they can do in the real world to promote themselves and increase their profile?

DD: Networking can be tricky for writers, since they tend to be quite reserved. But going to festivals and short courses are a good idea, because you meet like minded souls and you’re brought together by your work. Your priority has to be your work, but it’s important to step out of your cocoon and freshen your mind through contact with other writers.

OS: Derbhile, thanks for stopping by Wait til I tell you and enjoy the rest of your blog tour!

The next stop on Derbhile’s blog tour with The Pink Cage is tomorrow with Sian Phillips at

The Pink Cage is available from the following outlets,
Ebook:  (paperback book can also be found here)
The Book Depository,
Book Republic website,

Gestation of a short story #4

Day 6

Thanks to the commenters on yesterday’s post for their advice and encouragement. I got stuck into my story again today with renewed enthusiasm and a calmer demeanour, and have gone from looking like this:


…to this:

Scottish travel writer, Saira Elizabeth Luiza Shah


Time period

I have decided to keep the story in the 1950s because:

  • Some of the key words in the story, words that were included in the original anecdote and sparked my imagination, are specific to that era.
  • Setting up a small shop in your own home is much less likely to happen nowadays (planning permission laws are much stricter, and new small businesses less likely to get financing).
  • If I can pull it off, the non-contemporary setting adds interest to the story.

Timeline changes (again)

I realised that the mother needed to be older. Based on the previous timeline, she had been only 18 when she opened her shop. I decided she needed to be a little older when she took this step. Also, now that there is only one child, I wanted to create extra space in the timeline, leaving the reader free to guess that there may have been miscarriages, as a possible reason for there being only one child in the family. Here is version 3 of the timeline:

Time scope

The next issue I was dealing with today was also to do with time. Originally, I had thought that as well as the action that takes place in the story present, the story would include scenes from the past as background. Now I think that this time scope is too wide for a short story – for this one, anyway. I am going to keep the story within the limits of a few hours on one day. I am really trying to keep this story as tight and focussed as possible.

Development of the main character

The character of the boy is filling out. His new status as the only child has made him more self-assured although he still has the searching, watchful nature. The idea is still that the parents are very busy, so he is still always striving for time with and attention from them.

I have written just under 400 words of the actual story. This is a bit discouraging after six days.

A more encouraging thought is that a large part of the planning is complete. Now that I have quite a clear idea of the shape and sound of the story, further changes can be made as I write.

Gestation of a short story #3: Dark night of the soul

Days 4 & 5

Things are not going too well.

Maybe it’s divine retribution. I am guilty of infanticide: I have had to kill off the three siblings. As per my previous post, the number of characters in a short story has to be kept to the minimum. So the siblings’ lives have been cut short before they even properly started and my main character is now an only child. Sniff.

This changes the whole dynamics of the family and the character profiles have had to be amended as well. The mother’s energy now comes in part from a need to keep herself busy, to fill the gap in her life left by the absence of any more children.

The father-son relationship has also changed. Now that the boy is the only son, he is destined to take over his father’s family business. There is now an air of expectation and pressure in their interactions, especially as the boy is a reflective, bookish character and does not fit his father’s idea of the kind of person needed to take over the business.

Just as well I hadn’t got around to the doing the main character’s detailed profile yet – I can start that from scratch with him as an only child.

With all that in mind, I set about re-drafting the timeline earlier today. I was busy crossing out the hapless siblings and considering how to close the resulting gaps when a thought occurred to me. Is it really necessary for the story to be set in the 1950s?

The anecdote that originally sparked the idea for the this story took place in the 1950s, and I guess I just left that in in my initial planning. But does this really add anything to the story? Could it just as easily take place in the now?

Also, transposing the story to the present would remove the burden of historical accuracy (and the research work involved for me). (I could just go and ask the person who originally told me the anecdote for details about the period, but I don’t want this to be anything remotely resembling someone’s memoirs; the anecdote is simply the spark for a work of fiction.)

One step forward, two steps back. I’m starting to wonder if this story has as much potential as I originally thought.

Gestation of a short story #2

Day 3

Character profiles – mother and father

I spent a good portion of my writing time today developing the characters for the story.

The main character is the third child in the family, a boy, aged eight. The story is told through his eyes, in the third person. The mother and father are the two other significant characters.

I got the character profiles for the mother and father done today. They ended up being longer and a bit less structured than previous profiles I have done, but I got into a good flow and didn’t want to interrupt that! There is a lot of detail in them, which I hope will enhance the characters. The vast majority of the detail will not feature in the story, it is just background information for me to keep in mind and refer to as I write. I certainly feel as if I know these people well now.

Here is an abridged version of the character profile for the mother:

Mary, born 1925 into a large family, several children. Grew up in the countryside outside the town she now lives in. The town seemed remote and exotic. Her parents kept a few cows, grew their own potatoes, did what they could – her own mother kept hens, sold eggs, took in mending, etc. Mary was one of the older children and worked from a young age, cooking, cleaning and minding younger children. She moved into the town aged 16 to work as a domestic in a guest house. Her cleverness and capacity for hard work were quickly noticed and she was soon offered a job as a shop assistant in the town’s largest grocer’s shop. She made lots of friends in the town and settled in quickly to her new life there.

At age 18 she met Tom Loughlin when he came into the shop one day. She fell for his charm and wit. As the only son he was expected to take over his father’s business in due course. Because Tom’s family had means, lack of money did not delay their plans and they married later the same year. Tom’s father helped them buy a house that came up for sale on the main street in the town. Mary is delighted and feels she has truly escaped the hardships of her childhood.

Mary gives up her job in the shop when she marries. There is an expectation that she no longer needs to work and she sees no reason to disagree initially. However after a few months of “keeping house” in her new home, she is bored and starts to think about how to occupy herself. She loves Tom as much as ever but has noticed that his business and management skills are not as keen as hers. His building business ticks over but does not do as well as it could. This annoys her and she also realises that extra money coming into the house would not hurt.

Mary decides to open a tiny grocery shop, operating from the front room in the house. Being an end of terrace house, there is a side door from which the shop can operate without putting in on the household too much. She persuades Tom to give the idea his blessing. She has found her calling: businesswoman. She knows that Tom is a little put out but her ambition and conviction drive her on. She also knows that Tom adores her and despite grumbling, will always support her.

As she settles into motherhood, Mary finds that with help, organisational skills, and her great energy, she can keep running her shop and begins to plan for expansion…

One other thing about the character aspect: I am not too clear at the moment about how I will handle the siblings in the family. It is central to the story that the family be a large one, so I have settled on four children. However, this being a short story, three main characters is pretty much the maximum (unless you are Kevin Barry – his story “Beer Trip to Llandudnow” in New Irish Short Stories has six equally important, perfectly drawn characters – but that is Kevin Barry). So I don’t want the other siblings to be prominent. At the same time, they have to be proper characters and not one-dimensional “devices”.

Timeline version 2

The other thing I did today was expand the timeline. Here it is now:

Timeline version 2

The timeline needs refining but I am not going to change it again until more of the story is written. Once I see how the characters are developing on the page, I will be able to see more clearly how the time aspect is panning out and revise the timeline as required.

Possible key scenes

I’ve worked out three key scenes so far. Number 1 below will be placed towards the end of the story. Originally I had thought of this scene as the “climax”, but this is too strong a term in a story like this where the action takes place largely in the main character’s head. “Epiphany” is likewise not quite right. It’s too dramatic. What the main character in this story experiences is more of a quiet realisation. So a better term in this case is “turning point”.

Key scene 1

This is another key scene and the resulting first draft of a paragraph I have written for it:

Key scene 3

It’s dinner time. Bacon and cabbage for the lodgers. Mammy spins between kitchen and dining room, steaming plates held high. He retreats, going right to the back of the house on the top floor, but the smell is everywhere. His parents’ muffled voices float up from the kitchen, in the rising inflections of an argument. There is a moment of silence, then the stomp of angry footsteps. Banging. He follows the noise downstairs, through the door through to the new house. His father stands at the foot of the stairs, one hand at his brow, the other resting on the sledgehammer, a pile of splintered wood at his feet.

He knows to ask his father only specific questions.

“Why are you breaking the stairs, Daddy?”

His father closes his eyes slowly.

“So Mammy can make her cafe.”

What’s next?

  • Create a character profile for the main character
  • Figure out background characters (siblings) – check creative writing books
  • Decide on a title for the story – in a short story, the title is crucial
  • Write the opening paragraph

Gestation of a short story #1

What are Greenday talking about? I love September. With the exception of going back to school (which only bothers you if you actually have to go – teehee), September is a time of renewal, revival and getting around to things you put off til after the summer holidays.

In that spirit, over the next while, I will be tracking the development of my latest short story as I write it.

This story-to-be was inspired by that rich source of short story material: a passing comment, an almost-anecdote. The one I have in mind was told to me by someone I know, at least a year ago, on the subject of his childhood. There was an image in there that has stuck in my head ever since: A mother, father and their children are driving along in their car. The mother and father have had a row at home. Suddenly, the mother begins to sing happily.

What intrigues me about this little vignette is what it might say about the dynamics of family life and married life from a child’s viewpoint. Children can be highly perceptive and they can also misinterpret and over-interpret. How might one of the children interpret what is going on in this family on this day?

This series of blog posts tracks my efforts in building this story. Whether or not the story is a success (see how I’m covering myself there?), I hope it’ll be of interest to some to follow the process a writer can go through in an attempt to create a short story (obviously, there are many ways to do this – mine is only one).


Days 1 & 2

Physical environment – house sketch

After mulling over various possibilities for the story for a while, I develop a picture of the family at the centre of the story. The family – mother, father, and three or four children – lives in a big, chaotic house in a medium-sized town. The family’s life revolves around their shop. The small grocery shop is integrated into the house in the converted front downstairs room.

Part of the dynamics of the story is that the mother in the family runs several mini-businesses from within the home. The house is always being extended and modified to make room for each new business venture. So the house is always noisy and busy.

I realise that movement and the physical environment – all the family members moving around this big, chaotic, disorganised, confusing house – are key to the story. So I decide to sketch out a plan of the house. I want to be completely familiar with the layout of the house in my own mind, so that the characters’ movements around the house are consistent and flow smoothly.

This is my initial sketch (architects and technical drawing experts, look away now!):


At this stage, the characters are still in their infancy in terms of development. Later, I will create detailed character sketches. Before that, I need to create a timeline for the family in the story. This is to ensure that all aspects of time in the story are correct and consistent. For example, to specify the age of each character, I need to know when they were born, and all the family members’ dates of birth have to be consistent with each other.

This is the rudimentary timeline I drew up (yes, on the back of an envelope – keeping it real!):

Practise paragraphs

By this stage (the end of day 2), I have also written a few disconnected paragraphs of the actual story. These are really sketches themselves, rough “practise” drafts to help me get an idea of how the story might look and sound.

What’s next?

The next steps are: fill out the timeline, create detailed character profiles, and identify key scenes. I’ll be moving forward with these tomorrow.

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